"If there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from." That's how Luke describes his desert farm-world to C-3P0 on first meeting. But let's look at the evidence: Anakin Skywalker was born there. He builds C-3P0 there and is a champion pod racer by age 10, or however old that kid was supposed to be in Episode I. Anakin returns to Tatooine to look for his mother and commits a genocidal war crime against the presumably native sandpeople in Episode II. And after Luke and Leia are born, Obi-Wan takes Luke back to Tatooine to hide out.
Advanced lesson: So, OK. Darth Vader spearheads the slaying of all the Jedi. Two get away. Yoda goes to the swamp world of Dagobah, and Obi-Wan goes to Tatooine. So, was Vader just not looking very hard? Was there never some ambitious young officer who suggested to him that maybe, just maybe, the "Ben Kenobi" on Tatooine might at least know the Obi-Wan Kenobi they were looking for? Or does that kind of initiative just get a guy Force-choked?
Chicks dig Chewbacca, the 7-foot-tall furry co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon, and Han Solo's best buddy. He's sooooo cute. Turns out he's from the planet Kashyyyk (the extra y is for yowling), which shows up in Episode III as the fierce Wookiee warriors battle … whoever the bad guys are. Droids, probably. Hard to tell.
Fine. He's Ewan McGregor. But luckily he turns into Alec Guinness.
* Correction, May 19, 2005:The initial version of this story said that Padmé was an elected representative. Actually, the queen who succeeded her—queen being an elected (and apparently term-limited) position on Naboo—appointed Padmé a Senator. Even in the Republic, it's all about who you know. Click here to return to the corrected sentence.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola
The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.
I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore
And schools are getting worried.
Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War
Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough
So they added a little self-immolation.
Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem
Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology.