Job: The Scott Shuger summer internship at Slate's Washington, D.C., bureau.
They say you learn how to: Help put together a magazine, fact-check, copyedit, use snarky prose to question conventional wisdom.
You really learn how to: Pre-empt the line at the burrito shack down the block.
Upside: Seeing your name in print, lots of free Slate umbrellas, your own empty-cup-laden messy cubicle, casual Fridays (and Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays ...). Did I mention seeing your name in print?
Downside: People in the Fray will alternate between deriding you as a dirty imperialist fascist and a smarmy commie-pinko. Your family will automatically equate "online magazine" with Pets.com and wonder why you didn't get a real job. Your computer will never work. Clueless classmates will ask if you like working at Salon.com. And your computer will still not work.
Wages: About $4,000 for the summer, minus food and transportation expenses.
Minimum age: Must be finished with high school.
How do I get this job? First, you must vanquish me. Then, next January or February, send an e-mail to Plotzd@slate.com inquiring about the internship. You'll probably have to send a résumé and a writing sample, and then hope for my demise. See this slightly outdated "Explainer" for more information.
Hook-up factor: Single, unshaven adolescent male seeks wonkish and statuesque Jewish (or Asian-American) female. Must enjoy policy analysis, literary journalism, high-minded pretensions, and rap music.
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