Like the fact that his face would appear to be a patently obvious latex mask, devised by a Hollywood makeup artist.
Oh, right, that.
Well, listen. I've done some research into Mr. Soneji, and I've come to a conclusion: He's going to try to kidnap Megan Rose.
Yep. And I've had an idea: What if we let him kidnap the girl, and then kidnap her from his lair, and then pretend to be him—using the same voice-distortion device that he uses—and then demand a ransom? No one would ever suspect us! The investigators would nab Soneji, and we'd get away with the money! And I can work with the lead investigator on the case, thereby throwing him off the scent! I'm certain he'll be the sort of lone-wolf investigator who'd never bother working closely with the law enforcement authorities to discover any holes in my story. And finally, once we've got the money, I can arrange things in just such a way that Soneji comes after me, necessitating his execution and allowing us to get off scot-free!
Man, Jezzie, that's one seriously complex plan.
TODAY IN SLATE
One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.
The Extraordinary Amicus Brief That Attempts to Explain the Wu-Tang Clan to the Supreme Court Justices
Amazon Is Officially a Gadget Company. Here Are Its Six New Devices.
Do the Celebrities Whose Nude Photos Were Stolen Have a Case Against Apple?
The NFL Explains How It Sees “the Role of the Female”
Amazon Is Now a Gadget Company
How to Order Chinese Food
First, stop thinking of it as “Chinese food.”