Loughlin: But that Steven Soderbergh guy—how can he be driving two movies? You know what I think? I think he's carrying Traffic, and Brockovich is running on those Julia Roberts legs. You know who gets my vote.
Edelstein: Well, there is a kind of thoroughbred charm to Julia Roberts. A sort of equine grace.
Loughlin: Look out! Here it comes, down the middle of the road—the Miramax mobile!
Edelstein: A shocking come from behind, I'd say.
Loughlin: Y'know, Harvey Weinstein had his ticker go kerflooey this year; he lost some speed, but the drive is still there, I'm tellin' ya! Kick some ass, Harvey!! Spend, baby, spend!
Edelstein: I'm still stunned that Miramax has forsaken risky, low-budget movies for the middlebrow art house market. I thought this year they'd get their comeuppance.
Loughlin: Yeah, those pretty horses didn't even get out of the gate, huh? I guess they only looked pretty.
Edelstein:Vatel—what a wreck.
Loughlin: Stoppard him before he writes again! I'm just punning. But here comes Chocolat. The dark horse—dark chocolate. You must've liked that picture?
Edelstein: Uh … no. It celebrated the fearless morality of self-gratification.
Loughlin: Sounds like a Hollywood theme to me! And there's Cast Away, fast out of the box! Hey, Cast Away, look out for Gladiator!!! Pow! Cast Away pancakes the inside wall! It's marooned! Cast Away is marooned!
TODAY IN SLATE
I was hit by a teacher in an East Texas public school. It taught me nothing.
There Are New Abuse Allegations Against Adrian Peterson
After This Merger, One Company Could Control One-Third of the Planet's Beer Sales
John Oliver Pleads for Scotland to Stay With the U.K.
If You’re Outraged by the NFL, Follow This Satirical Blowhard on Twitter
Don’t Expect Adrian Peterson to Go to Prison
In much of America, beating your kids is perfectly legal.
Ford’s Big Gamble
It’s completely transforming America’s best-selling vehicle.