T E X T
Excerpted Works of Jenny Holzer
A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS
A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU
ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM
ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE
CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING
DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY
DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION
EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU
MOTHERS SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES
MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN
MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE
MYTHS CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE
THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION
TORTURE IS BARBARIC
YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY
YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS
YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES
FEAR IS THE MOST ELEGANT WEAPON.
YOUR HANDS ARE NEVER MESSY.
THREATENING BODILY HARM IS CRUDE.
WORK INSTEAD ON MINDS AND BELIEFS,
PLAY INSECURITIES LIKE A PIANO. BE
CREATIVE IN APPROACH. FORCE ANXIETY
TO EXCRUCIATING LEVELS OR GENTLY
UNDERMINE THE PUBLIC CONFIDENCE.
PANIC DRIVES HUMAN HERDS OVER CLIFFS.
AN ALTERNATIVE IS TERROR-INDUCED
IMMOBILIZATION. FEAR FEEDS ON FEAR.
PUT THIS EFFICIENT PROCESS IN MOTION.
MANIPULATION IS NOT LIMITED TO PEOPLE.
ECONOMIC, SOCIAL AND DEMOCRATIC
INSTITUTIONS CAN BE SHAKEN. IT WILL BE
DEMONSTRATED THAT NOTHING IS SAFE,
SACRED OR SANE. THERE IS NO RESPITE
FROM HORROR. ABSOLUTES ARE
QUICKSILVER. RESULTS ARE SPECTACULAR.
BECAUSE THERE IS NO GOD SOMEONE MUST
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MEN. A
CHARISMATIC LEADER IS IMPERATIVE. HE
CAN SUBORDINATE THE SMALL WILLS TO
THE GREAT ONE. HIS STRENGTH AND HIS
VISION REDEEM MEN. HIS PERFECTION
MAKES THEM GRATEFUL. LIFE ITSELF
IS NOT SACRED, THERE IS NO DIGNITY IN THE
FLESH. UNDIRECTED MEN ARE CONTENT
WITH RANDOM, SQUALID, POINTLESS LIVES.
THE LEADER GIVES DIRECTION AND
PURPOSE. THE LEADER FORCES GREAT
ACCOMPLISHMENTS, MANDATES PEACE AND
REPELS OUTSIDE AGGRESSORS. HE IS THE
ARCHITECT OF DESTINY. HE DEMANDS
ABSOLUTE LOYALTY. HE MERITS
UNQUESTIONING DEVOTION. HE ASKS THE
SUPREME SACRIFICE. HE IS THE ONLY HOPE.
SHRIEK WHEN THE PAIN HITS DURING
INTERROGATION. REACH INTO THE DARK
AGES TO FIND A SOUND THAT IS LIQUID
HORROR, A SOUND OF THE BRINK WHERE
MAN STOPS AND THE BEAST AND
NAMELESS CRUEL FORCES BEGIN. SCREAM
WHEN YOUR LIFE IS THREATENED. FORM A
NOISE SO TRUE THAT YOUR TORMENTOR
RECOGNIZES IT AS A VOICE THAT LIVES IN
HIS OWN THROAT. THE TRUE SOUND TELLS
HIM THAT HE CUTS HIS FLESH WHEN HE
CUTS YOURS, THAT HE CANNOT THRIVE
AFTER HE TORTURES YOU. SCREAM THAT
HE DESTROYS ALL THE KINDNESS IN YOU AND
BLACKENS EVERY VISION YOU COULD HAVE
SHOWN HIM.
DON'T TALK DOWN TO ME. DON'T BE
POLITE TO ME. DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME
FEEL NICE. DON'T RELAX. I'LL CUT THE
SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. YOU THINK I DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. YOU THINK I'M
AFRAID TO REACT. THE JOKE'S ON YOU. I'M
BIDING MY TIME, LOOKING FOR THE SPOT.
YOU THINK NO ONE CAN REACH YOU, NO
ONE CAN HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE. I'VE BEEN
PLANNING WHILE YOU'RE PLAYING. I'VE
BEEN SAVING WHILE YOU'RE SPENDING.
THE GAME IS ALMOST OVER SO IT'S TIME
YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME. DO YOU WANT TO
FALL NOT EVER KNOWING WHO TOOK YOU?
DESTROY SUPERABUNDANCE. STARVE THE
FLESH, SHAVE THE HAIR, EXPOSE THE
BONE, CLARIFY THE MIND, DEFINE THE
WILL, RESTRAIN THE SENSES, LEAVE THE
FAMILY, FLEE THE CHURCH, KILL THE
VERMIN, VOMIT THE HEART, FORGET THE
DEAD. LIMIT TIME, FORGO AMUSEMENT,
DENY NATURE, REJECT ACQUAINTANCES,
DISCARD OBJECTS, FORGET TRUTHS,
DISSECT MYTH, STOP MOTION, BLOCK
IMPULSE, CHOKE SOBS, SWALLOW CHATTER.
SCORN JOY, SCORN TOUCH, SCORN
TRAGEDY, SCORN LIBERTY, SCORN
CONSTANCY, SCORN HOPE, SCORN
EXALTATION, SCORN REPRODUCTION,
SCORN VARIETY, SCORN EMBELLISHMENT,
SCORN RELEASE, SCORN REST, SCORN
SWEETNESS, SCORN THE LIGHT. IT IS A
QUESTION OF FORM AND FUNCTION. IT IS A
MATTER OF REVULSION.
EVEN WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED YOU CAN SEE SOMEONE APPROACHING.
HIS SHADOW SHOWS ON THE INSIDES OF YOUR EYELIDS.
HOW DO YOU RESIGN YOURSELF TO SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER BE?
YOU STOP WANTING THAT
THING, YOU GO NUMB, OR YOU KILL
THE AGENT OF DESIRE.
IF YOU WISH TO LIVE ANONYMOUSLY, SUCCESS IS CONTINGENT ON
FORGOING THE MANY BENEFITS ATTACHED TO IDENTIFICATION, AND
YOU MUST NEVER BE SCRUTINIZED OR CAPTURED.
IT TAKES A WHILE BEFORE YOU CAN STEP OVER INERT BODIES AND GO
AHEAD WITH WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO.
MORE PEOPLE WILL BE BUILDING HIDING PLACES IN THEIR HOMES,
SMALL REFUGES THAT ARE UNDETECTABLE EXCEPT BY SOPHISTICATED
DEVICES.
SOME DAYS YOU WAKE AND IMMEDIATELY START TO WORRY. NOTHING
IN PARTICULAR IS WRONG, IT'S JUST THE SUSPICION THAT FORCES
ARE ALIGNING QUIETLY AND THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.
AT TIMES YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO WATCH SOMETHING
GRUESOME OCCUR. YOU DON'T HAVE THE OPTION OF CLOSING YOUR
EYES BECAUSE IT HAPPENS FAST AND ENTERS YOUR MEMORY.
THERE ARE PLACES THAT ARE SCARRED AND THE SKIN IS PULLED
AROUND, LIKE THE NAVEL OR THE HEAD OF THE PENIS, THAT LEAVE
YOU THINKING THAT THE BODY IS FRAGILE.
WHAT A SHOCK WHEN THEY TELL YOU IT WON'T HURT AND YOU ALMOST
TURN INSIDE OUT WHEN THEY BEGIN.
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN SOMEPLACE FOR A WHILE YOU ACQUIRE THE
ABILITY TO BE PRACTICALLY INVISIBLE. THIS LETS YOU OPERATE
WITH A MINIMUM OF INTERFERENCE.
YOU CAN WATCH PEOPLE ALIGN THEMSELVES WHEN TROUBLE IS IN THE
AIR. SOME PREFER TO BE CLOSE TO THOSE AT THE TOP AND OTHERS
WANT TO BE CLOSE TO THOSE NEAR THE BOTTOM. IT'S A QUESTION OF
WHO FRIGHTENS THEM MORE AND WHOM THEY WANT TO BE LIKE.
WITH BLEEDING INSIDE THE HEAD THERE IS A METALLIC TASTE AT
THE BACK OF THE THROAT.
YOU ARE TRAPPED ON THE EARTH SO YOU WILL EXPLODE.
SAVOR KINDNESS BECAUSE CRUELTY IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE LATER.
THE BREAKDOWN COMES WHEN YOU STOP CONTROLLING YOURSELF AND WANT THE
RELEASE OF A BLOODBATH
DIE FAST AND QUIET WHEN THEY INTERROGATE YOU OR LIVE SO LONG THAT
THEY ARE ASHAMED TO HURT YOU ANYMORE.
IN A DREAM YOU SAW A WAY TO SURVIVE AND YOU WERE FULL OF JOY.
YOU ARE SO COMPLEX THAT YOU DON'T ALWAYS RESPOND TO DANGER.
MEN DON'T PROTECT YOU ANYMORE.
THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR WILL BE SECRET.
USE WHAT IS DOMINANT IN A CULTURE TO CHANGE IT QUICKLY.
PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT.
YOU ARE CAUGHT THINKING ABOUT KILLING ANYONE YOU WANT.
THE FUTURE IS STUPID.
GO WHERE PEOPLE SLEEP AND SEE IF THEY'RE SAFE.
IT IS FUN TO WALK CARELESSLY IN A DEATH ZONE.
YOU LIVE THE SURPRISE RESULTS OF OLD PLANS.
LET YOUR HAND WANDER ON FLESH TO MAKE POSSIBILITY MULTIPLY.
SHOOT INTO INFINITE SPACE TO HIT A TARGET IN TIME AND CALL IT INEVITABLE.
BODIES LIE IN THE BRIGHT GRASS AND SOME ARE MURDERED AND SOME ARE PICNICKING.
YOUR MODERN FACE SCANS THE SURPRISE ENDING.
CRACK THE PELVIS SO SHE LIES RIGHT. THIS IS
A MISTAKE. WHEN SHE DIES YOU CANNOT REPEAT
THE ACT. THE BONES WILL NOT GROW TOGETHER
AGAIN AND THE PERSONALITY WILL NOT COME
BACK. SHE IS GOING TO SINK DEEP INTO THE
MOSS TO GET WHITE AND LIGHTER. SHE IS
UNRESPONSIVE TO BEGGING AND SELF ABSORBED.
YOU SPIT ON THEM BECAUSE THE TASTE LEFT ON
YOUR TEETH EXCITES. YOU SHOWED HOPE ALL
OVER YOUR FACE FOR YEARS AND THEN
KILLED THEM IN THE INTEREST OF TIME.
PEOPLE GO TO THE RIVER WHERE IT IS LUSH AND
MUDDY TO SHOOT CAPTIVES, TO FLOAT OR SINK
THEM. SHOTS KILL MEN WHO ALWAYS WANT.
SOMEONE IMAGINED OR SAW THEM LEAPING
TO SAVAGE THE GOVERNMENT. NOW BODIES DIVE
AND GLIDE IN THE WATER, SCARING FRIENDS
OR MAKING THEM FURIOUS.
IF IT STARTS
I WILL
KILL THIS BABY
A GOOD WAY.
SHE CAN LIE
ON MY
FAMILIAR BELLY.
OUR BACKS WILL
BE IN LINE
AND THEN
INDISTINGUISHABLE.
I WILL TAKE
HER DOWN BEFORE
SHE FEELS THE
FEAR THAT IS
CAUSE AND
RESULT.
THE MEN COME.
I PUT MY MOUTH ON THEM.
I SPIT AND WRITE
WITH THE WET.
THE WET SAYS WHAT
MUST STOP AND
WHAT SHALL BEGIN.
I SPIT BECAUSE THE DEATH
SMELL IS TOO CLOSE TO ME.
THE STINK MAKES WORDS
TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT
WHO KILLS AND
WHO IS THE VICTIM.
I HAVE A
HOT HOLE
THAT WAS
PUT IN ME.
I CAN LIVE
WITH IT.
PEOPLE MADE IT
AND USE IT
TO GET
TO ME.
I CAN HURT
IT TOO BUT
USUALLY I PUT
MY THINKING
THERE FOR
EXCITEMENT.
WHEN MY MIND
IS RIGHT I
CAN SAY WHAT
NO ONE WANTS
TO HEAR.
I BRAG ABOUT
MY INDIFFERENCE,
BUT THE LAST
KIND PART OF
ME RAVES
BECAUSE
I WILL NOT
BE THE ONLY
DEAD ONE.
I KEEP THE
HOLE OPEN.
THE KNIFE CUT
RUNS AS LONG
AS IT WANTS.
IT IS THROUGH
MY STOMACH.
I KEEP LOOKING
AT IT.
I HAVE MORE
COLORS THAN
I WOULD
HAVE THOUGHT.
THE HOLE IS
LARGE ENOUGH
FOR MY HEAD.
THE HOLE WAS
BIG ENOUGH
FOR THEIR HANDS
TO MOVE FREELY.
I AM INDIFFERENT TO MYSELF BUT NOT TO MY CHILD. I ALWAYS JUSTIFIED
MY INACTIVITY AND CARELESSNESS IN THE FACE OF DANGER BECAUSE I WAS
SURE TO BE SOMEONE'S VICTIM. I GRINNED AND LOITERED IN GUILTY
ANTICIPATION. NOW I MUST BE HERE TO WATCH HER. I EXPERIMENT TO SEE
IF I CAN STAND HER PAIN. I CANNOT. I AM SLY AND DISHONEST TALKING
ABOUT WHY I SHOULD BE LEFT ALIVE, BUT IT IS NOT MY WAY WITH HER.
SHE MUST STAY WELL BECAUSE HER MIND WILL OFFER NO HIDING PLACE IF
ILLNESS OR VIOLENCE FINDS HER. I WANT TO BE MORE THAN HER CUSTODIAN
AND A FRIEND OF THE EXECUTIONER. FUCK ME AND FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO
WOULD HURT HER.
I DID NOT WANT MY CHILD BECAUSE I KNEW I COULD NOT LIKE THE
FEELING WHEN SHE WAS THREATENED, BUT ONE MORNING IN A MOVEMENT OF
INFINITE TENDERNESS I CALLED HER. I CANNOT PRECLUDE HER DEATH AND
OUR DEPENDENCE LETS EVERY DANGER WORK UNCHALLENGED. THE IDEA THAT
I AM CRIMINAL RECURS EACH TIME THERE IS REAL TROUBLE. I WOULD KILL
HER RATHER THAN WATCH A DIRTY ENDING BUT THE KILLING WOULD SPOIL MY
PITY. IF MY INSTINCT IS RUINED I WILL BE THE PERSON WHO CAN DO
ANYTHING TO YOU.
I AM SULLEN AND THEN FRANTIC WHEN I CANNOT BE WHOLLY WITHIN THE
ZONE OF MY INFANT. I AM CONSUMED BY HER. I AM AN ANIMAL WHO DOES
ALL SHE SHOULD. I AM SURPRISED THAT I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER. I
WAS PAST FEELING MUCH BECAUSE I WAS TIRED OF MYSELF BUT I WANT HER
TO LIVE. I HATE EACH OF YOU WHO MURDERS. NOW MY BEST SENSES ARE
BACK AND WHAT I FEEL AFTER LOVE IS FEAR.
I FEAR FIVE THINGS AND MYSELF.
I FEAR THE NEW ILLNESS. I AM NOT SURE IF THE CHILD AND I ARE SICK.
NOW THAT SHE IS BORN I AM AFRAID TO KNOW. I TOUCH HER NECK. I AM
NOT CERTAIN I COULD CARE FOR HER.
I FEAR PEOPLE CRAZY MAD FROM NEED AND THE CONTEMPT OF EVERYONE WHO
COULD HELP THEM. I GO WALKING AND I HOPE SOMEONE DOES NOT SEE MY
FAT BABY AS AN INSULT.
I AM AFRAID OF THE ONES IN POWER WHO KILL PEOPLE AND DO NOT ADMIT
GRIEF. THEY WILL NOT STAY IN A ROOM WITH A DYING BABY. THEY WILL
NOT SPEND THE DAYS IT CAN TAKE.
I FEAR SUBSTANCES THAT CANNOT BE SENSED AND MUST NOT BE TOUCHED,
THE RESIDUE OF GOOD AND BAD IDEAS. I TURN THE CHILD OVER AND OVER
TO LOOK FOR SIGNS. CONTAMINATION MAKES THE NEW WEATHER AND THE
STINKING HEAT. THE BABY IS RED AND TRIES TO PULL AWAY FROM ME.
AFTER THIS IDIOT PERIOD OF SQUANDERING AND WAITING I FEAR EVERYONE
WHO DOES NOT WELCOME CHANGE.
THE SHOCK OF A CUTTING BIRTH REMINDS ME THAT PAIN IS NOT THOUGHT.
MY NEED TO PROTECT COMES WITH THE CHILD. IT MAY GIVE ME TIME.
PERPETRATOR
I SWIM IN HER AS SHE QUIETS.
I SINK ON HER.
I SING HER A SONG ABOUT US.
I STEP ON HER HANDS.
I SPLAY HER FINGERS.
SHE ROOTS WITH HER BLUNT FACE.
SHE HUNTS ME WITH HER MOUTH.
SHE HAS THREE COLORS IN HER EYES.
I BITE HER CLOSED AGAIN.
I AM NEAR HER MILK.
I TELL HER TO SOAP HERSELF.
SHE TIGHTENS AND I HIT HER.
I WASH HER OUT.
I WATCH HER WHILE SHE THINKS ABOUT ME.
HER SALIVA RUNS WHEN SHE SLEEPS.
I HOOK HER SPINE.
SHE HAS A URINE SMELL.
HER SWALLOW REFLEX IS GONE.
HER HEAD EXPLODES IN THE FIRE.
HER BREASTS ARE ALL NIPPLE.
SHE ACTS LIKE AN ANIMAL LEFT FOR COOKING.
I FIND HER SQUATTING ON HER HEELS
AND THIS OPENS HER SO I CAN GET HER
FROM BELOW.
I HOOK MY CHIN OVER HER SHOULDER.
NOW THAT SHE IS STILL I CAN CONCENTRATE.
I TAKE HER FACE WITH ITS FINE HAIRS. I POSITION HER MOUTH.
THE COLOR OF HER WHERE SHE IS INSIDE OUT IS ENOUGH
TO MAKE ME KILL HER.
OBSERVER
SHE STARTED RUNNING WHEN EVERYTHING BEGAN
POURING FROM HER BECAUSE SHE DID
NOT WANT TO BE SEEN.
I WANT TO LIE DOWN BESIDE HER. I HAVE NOT SINCE
I WAS A CHILD. I WILL BE COVERED BY
WHAT HAS COME FROM HER.
SHE SMILES AT ME BECAUSE SHE IMAGINES I CAN HELP HER.
SHE COUGHS THE MOUTH STRINGS.
THE BLACK SPECKS INSIDE MY EYES FLOAT ON HER BODY.
I WATCH THEM WHILE I THINK ABOUT HER.
HER GORE IS IN A BALL OF CLEANING RAGS. I CARRY
OUT THE DAMPNESS LEFT FROM MY MOTHER. I RETURN
TO HIDE HER JEWELRY.
VICTIM
I AM AWAKE IN THE PLACE WHERE WOMEN DIE.
MY BREASTS ARE SO SWOLLEN THAT I BITE THEM.
YOUR AWFUL LANGUAGE IS IN THE AIR BY MY HEAD.
I DO NOT LIKE TO WALK BECAUSE I FEEL IT
BETWEEN MY LEGS.
HAIR IS STUCK INSIDE ME.
MY NOSE BROKE IN THE GRASS. MY EYES ARE SORE
FROM MOVING AGAINST YOUR PALM.
I HAVE THE BLOOD JELLY.
WITH YOU INSIDE ME COMES THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY DEATH.
YOU HAVE SKIN IN YOUR MOUTH. YOU LICK ME STUPIDLY.
YOU CONFUSE ME WITH SOMETHING THAT IS IN YOU.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND IT DOES ME NO GOOD AT ALL.
I TRY TO EXCITE MYSELF SO I STAY CRAZY.
WHAT IS LEFT ON THE BLANKET IS CLEAR AND THE
COLOR OF HELL.
WITH YOU INSIDE ME COMES THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY DEATH.
HIS NECK STRAINS AND PIVOTS. HE BITES IN A CIRCLE AROUND HIM. HE
CANNOT RAISE HIS ARMS BECAUSE HE IS PACKED IN MEN. THE THING THAT
IS ALL OF THEM BEGINS TO SCREAM.
BURNED ALL OVER SO ONLY HIS TEETH ARE GOOD, HE SITS FUSED TO THE
TANK. METAL HOLDS THE BLAST HEAT AND THE SUN. HIS DEATH IS
FRESH AND THE SMELL PLEASANT. HE MUST BE PULLED AWAY SKIN
SPLITTING. HE IS A SUGGESTION THAT AFFECTS PEOPLE DIFFERENTLY.
THE SHAPE IN THE BLANKET IS STUPID. A TORSO REMAINS. THE MOTHER
RECALLS A CHILD'S LOGICAL AND ADEQUATE SHADOW. SHE RUNS HER HAND
OVER AND REJECTS THE FLESH.
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