The XX Factor: What women really think.



  • Brittany Murphy's Life Reduced to Emoticon


    As news of actress Brittany Murphy's death spread throughout the blogosphere last night, her name—both spelled correctly and with a misplaced "e"—was a trending topic on Twitter. Her 32 years were summed up by strangers in less than 140 characters, often peppered with RIPs and copious frowny faces. I know that this is the way people communicate now. I'm not going to go on some sort of Andy Rooney-style rant, or insist that their grief or upset, however brief, wasn't real. But there's certainly a lack of gravitas when a person's death is sandwiched between raves for Avatar and shout-outs to your girl Snooki from Jersey Shore ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Abortion Gets Sent Back to the States


    As the health care bill moves through the Senate pockmarked but alive, my inbox includes a message from the National Women's Law Center calling Senator Ben Nelson's abortion provision "unwise, unworkable, and unfair." But the main part of the concession Nelson won doesn't seem so bad to me. Under the Senate bill, states can choose to bar abortion coverage in the new insurance exchanges. Or they can choose to allow it. This makes abortion a state by state decision, often the best way to prevent the issue from detonating politically ... (Read the rest of this article on DoubleX).
  • Sex is Not an Addiction


    A post from DoubleX writer Amanda Marcotte:

    In response to a reality TV show about sex addiction starring Dr. Drew, Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon investigates the question of whether or not there is such a thing as sex addiction. She comes to no definite conclusions, but I'm going to side with skeptics like Susie Bright and Dan Savage and say that I highly doubt that people are "addicted" to sex. The entire enterprise has more than a whiff of woo to it, starting with the fact that the definition of "addiction" is entirely subjective ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).

  • Book of the Week: "Twisted Tree" by Kent Meyers


    A review from DoubleX guest writer Adrienne M. Davich:

    Kent Meyers’ Twisted Tree must be one of the most beautiful and unsettling novels of 2009. Meyers’ novel, set in and around the small town of Twisted Tree, S.D., opens with a horrifying drive: I-90 killer Alexander Stoughton has Hayley Jo Zimmerman in his passenger seat. He has chosen Hayley Jo, like girls before her, because of her anorexia, and now he’s racing down the highway making conversation and delighting at the drive before the murder. His “Anas” are all the same; they all have blind faith when they step into his car, but then, “It’s never joy and welcome when the Anas realize who he is, never happiness that here at last is their friend.” Anyone could mistakenly trust the wrong person, but anorexics, to Stoughton’s mind, are predictably gullible, the most easily ensnared ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Nordegren and Sanford Are Romantic Heroines


    We judge men as hypocrites all the time, so why shouldn’t women have to live by that standard? We skewered John Edwards for talking about the poor while getting a $400 hair cut (in retrospect, the least of his transgressions). We condemned Mark Sanford for touting family values and having an affair. So it matters what Jenny Sanford and Elin Nordegren choose to do in response to this public humiliation. It doesn’t matter absolutely. It shouldn’t be, as you say, Jessica, a feminist litmus test. But it does mean something.

    There is a disturbing trend in feminism lately to turn women into passive beings. We saw it during the Botax debate, in which Gloria Steinem and other feminist leaders were arguing that the tax on cosmetic surgery discriminated against middle-aged women. The problem, argued Terry O’Neill, president of the National Organization of Women, was that many women take time off to raise children and then try to re-enter the workforce in their forties and fifties and are deemed too old ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Elin Nordegren and Jenny Sanford Are Not Heroines


    A New York magazine blog post calls Jenny Sanford and Elin Nordegren's choices to leave their philandering husbands "practically groundbreaking" and adds that "their decisions could begin to repair the damage done to women over these past couple of years." The theory behind this assertion (though writer Sheela Kohlatkar is careful to say they're "not exactly" feminist heroes) is at base problematic, because it opens up the door for judgement of women's romantic choices to be a feminist litmus test.

    Even established feminists have always been criticized for their choice in lovers: Simone de Beauvior's relationship with Sartre, though ostensibly an "open marriage," was deeply uneven. "It was he who engaged in countless affairs, to which she responded on only a few occasions with longer-lasting passions of her own," Lisa Appignanesi notes in the Guardian. Does it make her any less of a foremother to the movement because she was dependent upon a cad?

    These days it seems impossible to pass every feminist test when it comes to love. Gloria Steinem and Jessica Valenti have been criticized for getting married at all. Instead of applauding Nordegren and Sanford, whose choices are dubiously feminist at best, let's not bring the f-word into romantic choices to begin with.

  • No More Sexting With Sotomayor on the High Court


    A post from DoubleX intern Jessica Dweck:

    While the question of whether kids today are sexting up a storm or reaching new heights of prudery may never be satisfactorily answered, the window for such wireless waggery might be closing. On Monday, the Supreme Court announced that it would hear the case of a police sergeant who sued his department for reading the lewd text messages he sent on a company pager. As Emily Bazelon reported in Slate on Wednesday, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of the sexting cop and held that users have “a reasonable expectation of privacy in their text messages” regardless of whether an employer supplies the equipment or pays for the service.

    Unfortunately, the lower court's attempts to forge progressive digital policy may turn out to be the ambitious opening sallies in a battle that cannot be won. If there is one common thread among the current justices of the Supreme Court, it is a strong bias in favor of government plaintiffs. Given the Court’s equally powerful penchant for minimalism, electronic privacy advocates are hoping for a narrow ruling that applies exclusively to public employers. Even so, with the arrival of America's favorite wise Latina to the bench, right-leaning privacy foes will likely enjoy a wider margin of victory than the usual Roberts Court 5-4 split ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • You Say Flirting, I Say Harrassment


    DoubleX has a new partnership with The Washington Post Magazine. Each week our contributors argue over a certain question, and we invite you to join in. This week: At what point do catcalls, wolf whistles. and flirtatious street comments go from compliments to harassment? (Read our contributors' responses in DoubleX.)

  • Altered by a Sewing Machine


    Closeup of sewing machine from wikipedia.comA post from DoubleX contributor Erika Kawalek:

    Today’s New York Times has an article about women who are busting their butts selling their homemade stuff on Etsy, but I want to draw your attention to Monday’s column by Michelle Slatalla, “Altered by a Sewing Machine.” It’s about her psychic battle with her brand new, fancy-schmancy sewing machine ... (Read more in DoubleX.)

  • Tiger Didn't Fail Us. The Paparazzi Did.


    Given the sad failure of a No. 12 to emerge, Tiger-watchers have turned, inevitably, to meta-analysis ... (Read more in DoubleX.)

  • When Men Look Better Everyone Wins


    Oh, what a difference a TV show can make! A couple of years ago, trend pieces discussing the men in their 20s and 30s who like to cut a nice, fashionable figure dismissed these men as emasculated "metrosexuals." But the popularity and influence of the aesthetic of Mad Men intervened and now the very same "metrosexuals" are being used to shame older men who are still wed to their worn out T-shirts and Birkenstocks. If it took Jon Hamm in Brylcreem to get us here, so be it ... (Read more in DoubleX.)

  • Time Honors a "Person" Who Just So Happens To Be a Man


    It’s been 10 years since Time changed its “Man of the Year” (or “woman” or “planet” of the year) award to the grating-to-my-ears "Person of the Year." Time purportedly made the switch to be “more inclusive,” as the Wikipedia entry on the topic states, but it just serves to whitewash the fact that the recipient is usually a guy. Why not just call it what it is? If it’s a man, he’s the Man of the Year. If it’s a woman, then Woman of the Year.

    From 1927 to 1999, women were chosen by Time four times (not counting group awards that went to “scientists” and “Middle Americans"). Since then, and with today’s announcement that the 2009 honoree is Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, women haven't made much more of a dent in Time's list. Melinda Gates was honored in 2005, but only along with husband Bill Gates and Bono, when the award went to “Good Samaritans” ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Nancy Meyers and Women at the Box Office


    Daphne Merkin's great profile of writer/director Nancy Meyers in the upcoming issue of the New York Times Magazine is online, and it dances around the question that everyone's been buzzing about this week: Why aren't there more female directors in Hollywood? (Click here for a compelling Jezebel interview with Manohla Dargis, who attempts to tackle this one, too). Merkin tries to explain why Meyers has succeeded where so many other women directors have failed: at the box office. She spends a lot of time talking about how Meyers softens all the rough edges—emotionally and aesthetically—of her films:

    Whether her insistence on “softening the message” through plush surroundings ultimately weakens the films—renders them more glossy and insular than they need be, even for a genre that is inherently fizzy—is a question I have debated with myself and others. Jeanine Basinger, chairwoman of the film-studies department at Wesleyan University, says that unlike Frank Capra, who believed that victory over something significant was essential for a comedy to be memorable, Meyers’s movies don’t require that you think about them again. “She makes it easy for the actors and the audience,” Basinger says. “They can slip into their parts and be happy, and we can slip into our seats and be happy."

    This, to me, is why Meyer's films are so successful, and it's why movies like Twilight and G.I. Joe and The Bourne Identity and pretty much any box-office blockbuster of the past 25 years has worked. People—both men and women—go to the movies to forget themselves and their troubles ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Aspiring Lawyers: Think Before You Take the Money and Run


    A post from DoubleX writer K.J. Dell'Antonia:

    Last fall, law firm graduates with offers to start work at high-profile firm Cravath, Swaine & Moore (where I worked after my own law school graduation) were offered the option of accepting $80,000, with benefits, to defer their start date at the firm by a year. Why? The most obvious reason is that law firms make their offers in the fall of the preceding year, which means that these students were made offers in the fall of 2008, well before the full impact of the recession was felt. In casual conversation, Cravath people will tell you that they simply had—again, thanks to the recession—far more acceptances than they'd expected. A number of other firms found themselves in the same position, and made similar offers, all meant to prevent the arrival of far too many young associates at a moment when there was less work to be done than anyone had anticipated. At first blush, how tempting does that sound? $80,000 for, as Elizabeth Wurtzel put it in the WSJ, "bubkes."

    Except that it's not bubkes. For a student who expects to make a career in the law, that year off could easily have an eventual cost far greater than $80,000. The only student that $80,000 offer makes sense for is one who (like Wurtzel, who remains primarily a writer and has a part-time job in the law) doesn't really want the job—and that's exactly why it's not safe to take it, and why anyone looking at a career opportunity that seems too good to be true should look twice.

    It's very difficult to succeed in a top law firm for many reasons. Statistically, it seems to be even more difficult for women, as, even in recent years when more women partners might have been expected since classes with increasingly large numbers of women have competed for the title, the percentage of female partners hovers at around 19 percent. In a law firm culture where the ability to withstand long hours is paramount, where Saturday night phone calls are run-of-the-mill and the best first-year associates are on a first-name basis with the all-night cleaning crew, taking an optional year off could brand you permanently as a dilettante, uncommited, or worse ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).

     

  • Did We Try Too Hard This Decade?


    A post from DoubleX writer Lauren Bans:

    In a lighthearted piece in the New York Observer, Simon Doonan makes the case the past decade was defined by a bunch of appearance-obsessed cool-chasers constantly trying to outdo one another. In a word: hipsters.

    It was—drumroll—the INDIE decade. It was the decade of desperately-trying-to-be-the-edgiest-person-on-the-planet. It was the decade of I-don’t-care-if-these-skinny-jeans-are-going-to-induce-a-thrombosis- I-am-hip-therefore-I-am.

    Sure, hipsterism became a thing sometime over the last few years. But it seems like every decade has had its own alternative culture. The '80s had punk. The '90s, grunge. Are the indie twee passengers of the L train really so representative of the decade as a whole? ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • The Kids Are Boring


    A post from DoubleX writer Amanda Marcotte:


    The kids are more boring than you might think. Or that's the conclusion one is forced to reach after reading a Pew Research Center study about sexting and a University of Minnesota study about casual sex among college students. The latter got some play in the blogs and in the mainstream media for the headline-grabbing finding that screwing around doesn't mean you're screwed up, but researchers also found that there isn't as much screwing around as breathless stories about the "hook-up culture" would have you believe. Between these two studies, it was found that only 4 precent of teenagers have sent a sexually provocative photo through text message and 80 percent of college students' most recent sexual encounter occurred  in the context of a committed relationship.

    Don't expect these studies demonstrating that kids are boring to have much influence on the mainstream media coverage of youthful sexuality to budge one bit from the breathless hysteria we've all come to know and feel queasy over. As well we should. There is a line between titillating ourselves by disingenuously judging young people for having sex and expressing genuine concern for young people's well-being, but the day time talk shows that cover the "hook-up culture" not only cross that line, but they can't even see it anymore in their rearview mirror ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).

     

  • The Pace of the Media Has Changed, Not Male Behavior


    In an essay about Tiger Woods on Salon, Mary Elizabeth Williams writes, "Congratulations, 2000s—has there been a sleazier era since Caligula's?" and goes on to list all the sex scandals of the aughts along with the the resulting 15 minutes of fame for the sundry "skanks" who participated in them. She particularly notes "the stark contrast between his demure Scandinavian wife and the parade of Hooters girls, porn stars and possible professional escorts who've come out of the woodwork."

    Williams might need to buff up on her history, as the sexual appetite of JFK and the "stark contrast" between his wife, Jackie, and his parade of '60s-era side dishes was just as—if not more—epic than Tiger's "apparently bottomless sexual appetite." JFK's mistresses also cashed in on their liasons with the president, just as Tiger's girls are trying to get theirs: Judith Exner wrote a book about her relationship with Kennedy in 1977. What has changed in the past 50 years is not that powerful men sleep around as much as they want or that some women will try to capitalize off that power. It's that the cycle happens within days, rather than within decades, of the scandals breaking ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Octomom Has Parenting Advice For You


    (Photo of Nadya Suleman by ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)So, the Octomom is giving out parenting advice. (And banal advice at that. You’d think after 14 kids you could come up with something more insightful than “good manners, good role models and a good education.”) Doing something to excess doesn’t automatically translate into doing it well. What’s next? Dating advice from Tiger Woods?

  • Lady Gaga: Feminist Pop Star?


    A post from DoubleX writer Lauren Bans:

    Vanessa at Feministing.com today draws attention to a recent Lady Gaga interview in the L.A. Times that does an incredible job of articulating the larger meaning behind Gaga’s shape-shifting, MTV award-winning performances. It’s easy to dismiss Lady Gaga as a one-dimensional pop sensation solely because of her mainstream popularity—we’re not so much in the habit of looking at pop stars as performance artists. And it’s always slightly obnoxious when stars anoint themselves with icon status, which Gaga essentially does in this interview ("I don't see myself as ever being like anybody else.") But there’s something very sound about writer Ann Power’s parallel between Gaga’s stunning physical transformations and the work of photographer Cindy Sherman, a woman who has had plastic surgery for the sake of her ever-evolving self-portraits (and whom Gaga admires). Both women are in some ways committing a deliberate bastardization of the feminine ideal. Lady Gaga’s lyrics reveal the same motivation: an upfront, no-apologies-necessary command of her rampant sexuality. She’s a freak bitch, baby ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • The Election of Annise Parker Reminds Me Why I Love Houston


    A guest post from writer Mimi Swartz:

    There’s one thing I can say for sure about Annise Parker’s election as Houston's and the nation’s first gay mayor: As my colleague and fellow Texan Sara Mosle noted, the news means a lot more outside my adopted home town than inside. Once again, I’ve had to endure the national media’s shock and awe that we backward Houstonians have done something that would have been considered (almost) the norm in New York or Los Angeles. As Sara noted, we are the fourth-largest city in the United States. Surprise! Houston also has the second-largest gay population in the nation. If you live here, you aren’t so shocked about Parker’s victory—after all, she’s been in public office here for 12 years and never once during that time was in the closet.

    I have to say, the race did restore my faith. Or rather, reaffirmed my faith in my adopted hometown. There are a lot of reasons why Parker won, and they have very little to do with her sexual orientation ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

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